when i'm waiting tables, i really have to pick and choose which table conversations i become a part of. i was trying to get a table's dessert order last night, and the mother (60+) asks me which is a creamier dessert, and i suggested the appropriate dessert, and the son (40ish) tells me that his mother likes cream. i come back to the table, then he tells me, in full detail, just exactly where she likes it. i make a disgusted face and leave. i come back to check on the table and drop the check, and the mother motions for me to come down closer to her, then pulls me by my tie and says
"i saw earlier. you shouldn't make a face at pussy. i know what you are."