Wednesday, December 31, 2008

new year's eve

next to my birthday and thanksgiving, new year's eve is my favorite holiday. you get dressed in a smart outfit, drink everything in sight, and be super-celebratory all night long. sign me up!! this year will be a new venture in the new year's eve excursions. in my new york years i've gone to open bars (2003 & 2004), hosted an insane party in my tiny hell's kitchen apartment (2005 - maybe my favorite nye to date), gone to the SoHa ballroom (2006), and celebrated at beef and boards (2007). obviously, i've been out of the city for new year's, but i've certainly never celebrated one in china... ever. this year, 30 of us have gotten together to rent a boat to drive us around the harbor for a few hours, then we're heading out. it should be a blast. thank you, mickey mouse. 

pat landed safely last night. i picked him up from the airport around 800pm. we headed back to my apartment, ordered pizza, and started drinking. (hide your shock.) next thing i know, we've headed back out for some drinking, dancing, and general cavorting. good times.

i'll definitely miss my new year's day brunch with kel and jack. pat and i will carry on the tradition here in hong kong. 

HAPPY 2009.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

baklush single ladies

"single ladies" a la festival of the lion king.
(note the casual use of the penchee arond 1:23).

Friday, December 26, 2008


straight no chaser is #1 on itunes.  over kanye, over britney, over sasha fierce. i told you the shit would be sick. they've been all over the country on a promotional tour, and their work has paid off. it's not too late to purchase a copy. i predict that this cd will be an annual classic. (just like "mariah carey christmas".)


shiiit. the holidays have worn me out. the last week has been full of work, shopping, dinners, and parties. it's been a blast, but it's also worked me just a little. let's recap:

saturday 12/20 - he had our lion king holiday party, which is basically a pot-luck/talent show. i made a tasty chicken and vegetable spaghetti dish. it was a hit. i was at a loss for the "talent" part. i hadn't put any extra effort to prepare a number, but after some coaxing, i sang "the christmas song" . the highlight of the evening was single ladies, performed by the "ladies" of festival of the lion king. 

monday 12/22 - my little girl, ela, performed her last day of shows before she takes off  for disneyland paris. i hosted a little dinner party in her honor. i made spaghetti (again), and we ate and talked til it was time to head upstairs for the WIG PARTY. jane (a princess) hosted a wig party, and lucky for us, otha has a nice collection of wigs. we all featured the party and had a blast. it was hits.

tuesday 12/23 - i decided that i should maybe do some christmas shopping. i'm notorious for christmas procrastination, and this year was no exception. after applying for my mainland china visa, i ventured out, successfully, to buy presents.

wednesday 12/24 -  i finished up the gift-getting (never be afraid to give booze at christmas time, ps). i received some excellent gifts (scarves, wallets, engraved chopsticks). we all headed out for a thai dinner, and after dinner, we had drinks and desert in stephanie and david's apartment, but i cut my night short because i had to work the next morning. 

thursday 12/25 - after work, the plan was to meet at victoria peak for japanese. after hauling it all the way up there, we find out that they restaurant is only offering a prix-fixe that would be about $60/person, which might not have been the worst thing in the world, but the menu was a little too random for everyone's tastes. our solution: bubba gump's. i had my first bubba gump's experience last night, and it was fucking great. i had a pomegranate margarita with an extra shot (served a la chilli's ultimate margarita style.) my dinner of baby back ribs and fries was only further enhanced by the round of shots purchased by stephanie's dad. (i called "scraps" on the non-drinkers' shots, ps.) all in all, christmas was celebratory and blessed.

friday 12/26 - my black ass is tired. i need to rest my bones because pat schuette will be gracing hong kong as of tuesday. i can't freaking wait. hope you're all recovering and resting up for new year's eve!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

david lockwood brown

david lockwood brown. i mean, everyone should have a friend like davidbrown. (one word.) funny, talented, mildly offensive. we share similar interests, like good music, social dancing, and vodka cocktails. he cracks my shit up on a regular basis. see for yourself:

"i was dating this boy who was a drifter like nomi malone...and i called him last night to see if he wanted to come over and he was like ...i'm in dallas texas. fucking nomi malone."

david: so that boy i met at the grocery store? turns out he's a high up manager at diesel.
me: wow. looks like you've made it.
david: i went to visit him today to get a scarf, and i got $1100 worth of shit for $260.
me: i love you.
david: i was like "work, david brown." god, i was so glad i met him while i was waiting in line to buy captain crunch.

me: will you come wash my dishes?
david: me?
me: mmhmm. or send lucy over here.
david: you can't borrow my housekeeper.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

a new friend.

we didn't exchange names or pleasantries of the day. i turned around, she was standing at my back to show her friends how short she was compared to me. photos were taken. she went back to mainland china. i had a hot dog.

Friday, December 5, 2008

prop 8, the musical

this shit is too funny to keep to myself. 

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

happy birthday, brit.

"circus" dropped today. i love it, and i know you will, too. support our girl.

Monday, December 1, 2008

thanksgiving results.

thanksgiving was hits. i blessed the food around 9 or so, and we immediately dug in. we had ham, turkey, chicken, cornish game hen, dressing, green beans, chili, chicken adobo, african beef, porridge, yams, mac and cheese, wine, jack daniels (wait, that was just me.), and many desserts. everyone was very full and very happy/ the night ended with a very impromptu recital where just about everyone (all 23 of us) sang. it was like a chorus call, only a lot more fun. 

in honor of black friday, i bought a new digital camera yesterday. work and whack!

Sunday, November 23, 2008


thanksgiving is a fat kid's dream. depending on where you have thanksgiving, your day usually goes something like this: television program (football game but probably dvr'ed performances from the macy's parade), drinking (vodka-based cocktails, mimosas) , near intoxication because of lack of food, eating, drinking, food coma/-itis, nap, repeat. 

in the last four years, i've had some excellent thanksgivings. noteable gatherings include t-day '05 at kelly will's, t-day '06 at chris klink's as he hobbled around on crutches from a freshly sprained ankle, and most recently t-day '07 in noblesville, indiana at the hammans house. (rum and cokes, wasted in-laws, and bullet shrapnel in the quail were highlights of the day.) this year will be the first day i host a thanksgiving of my own. i won't be gutting any birds, but i'm making my mom's amazing green bean casserole. we're having a big pot-luck here at harbour plaza, and it should be a blast. wish me luck.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


i woke up before my alarm went off. i still can't really open my eyes. i'll get back to you later...


Thursday, November 13, 2008

she's baaaack!

britney's new cd, circus, drops december 2nd. i can't effing wait. britney has dealt with a few things in the past few years, but everyone does, just not in the public eye. i'm not making excuses for her. i'm just saying that her ass is back, and i hope you're ready. she's looks wicked freakin stunning on the cd cover. i cant wait to have that cover art on my ipod touch. we were all about the britney at IU. (i'm sure i can still perform most of the "live from las vegas" dvd.) maria campos used to host birthday parties for britney every december 2nd. it mainly involved us listening to brit's collection of hits, hanging out, and getting really fucked up. i loved it. busch light, blunts, and hong kong neighbor, eddie, just bought the britney greatest hits cd. maybe i'll have a britney party here in hong kong...i'll keep you posted. i hope you're gathering your favorite thanksgiving recipies. y'all check this link for some ideas.

"Never ever lose your passion to dream. Please. Don't."
-bspears herself. 

Monday, November 10, 2008


i was talking to josh the other day, and we were talking about nyc, the good ol' days, etc. i immediately became homesick. then i tried to pinpoint was suddenly causing me to feel that way.

i miss drinking in new york.

i miss blackout or back-out sundays, i miss bamboo 52 happy hour (that always ends up with dinner/mac and cheese at vynl), and i miss prosecco at becco.

i've certainly curbed my binge drinking since i've gotten to china, but just because you don't ride a bike everyday doesn't mean you forget how to ride. 

Thursday, November 6, 2008

proud of your boy(s)...

straight no chaser's "holiday spirits" is #76 on billboard's top 200.


change comes fast, change comes slow.

barack obama is the new president of the united states. i'm thrilled!! i wish i could've been in the states to see some of the news coverage and to get a sense of what americans, in general, are feeling.  everyone at work has been super supportive obama's win. even the random chinese security guard at the american consulate told me that he hoped i was voting for obama. "we want him to win." it made me happy to think that this man has inspired people worldwide. it's been cool to help explain political parties to the people who aren't used to the american political jargon. i feel like i'm doing my part as an american citizen. his win is a huge page in the history books, and i pray that he can follow through and clean up the mess that is our country. 
  side note: listen, i understand that there are people who weren't in favor of having obama in office. i get it. however, when you write "fuck obama" as your facebook status, you look like an asshole for many reasons. trust me. 
things are quiet at hkdl. the halloween bull roar has passed, but i've already seen parade dancers rehearsing for the holiday parade. ugh. christmas makes me anxious. nicky is coming tomorrow!! nicky is a chinese herbalist who's coming to hong kong to visit her best friend. we met on the constellation my very first night, and for the next six months we had lots of adventures on the ship, in london, and every port imaginable. we drank, ate, drank, laughed, and ran that ship like it was our job. she's even visited me in nyc, and we, again, partied like crazy rockstars. i'm excited she'll be here. hilarity will ensue, no doubt.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

holiday spirits.

51 days until christmas. (i'm silencing my pre-holiday anxiety as we speak, i promise.) this cd is the perfect companion for your yuletide journey. straight no chaser's "holiday sprits" was released last tuesday, and it's a hit!! it's giving you christmas variety, a cappella style. it features classics ("white christmas"), humor ("12 days after christmas"), and new spins on old hits ("carol of the bells"). take support my/our friends. buy the cd from itunes (i got the bonus track version for $11.99),, or borders. 

Monday, October 27, 2008

we love you, jhud. #2

this horrible story has gotten even worse. according to yahoo news, jhud's nephew was still reported missing. authorities, however, have found the body of a 7 year old african american boy in the suv used in the manhunt for william balfour, the main suspect in the "double homicide investigation".  the article also states that jhud identified the bodies of her mother and brother. talk about devastating. i can't even begin to imagine what she's going through right now. keep her in your thoughts and prayers. 

Friday, October 24, 2008

we love you, jhud.

please keep jhud and her family in your thoughts and prayers today. her mother and brother were found dead in chicago friday morning.

i'm sure you going out and buying her cd on itunes would help her healing process. 

straight no chaser

while i was at IU, i was a member of straight no chaser, a men's a cappella group. (follow the hyperlink for the backstory.) a video of the original members of the group (recorded at a holiday show about 10 years ago) was posted on youtube, and between november and december 2007, the video got7 million hits. atlantic records caught wind of the video, and the guys got signed to a recording contract!! they're releasing a holiday cd called "holiday spirits" that drops this tuesday, october 10/28. the cd is available on itunes and through their website: i know this cd will be sick. just do yourself a favor.

sasha fierce.

work, b!

Monday, October 20, 2008

a quick little something.

for those who don't know her, leslie kritzer is an up and coming broadway star. (as evidenced in this video.) she was most recently seen in legally blonde and a catered affair. i tend to keep my nose clean when it comes to the political madness, but this shit is too funny to keep to myself.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

i just want to be normal, part 2.

i sent this email to a friend this morning:

hong kong's nightlife doesn't stop. i was standing in line (!) at 615 this morning (!) to get into a club called homebase. i was wasted (!!), hungry (!), and i felt really weird about standing in line (see: above exclamation points) we get in, and it was definitely worth the wait. great atmosphere, great crowd, great music. before i can even get to the bar, this random comes up to me and says, "you're famous, aren't you?" i just looked at him, raised an eyebrow, and said, "what do you think?" he was like, "i thought so!!" i died on the inside. i was thinking, "yes, someone gets it!" it was a crowning moment.

so was the turkey sandwich i had when i got home at 8:30.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

customer service, hong kong style.

when i found out i'd be coming to hong kong, i started preparing myself for the differences in chinese and american/western customs. i didn't want to come here shell-shocked and acting brand new. one important universal custom (in my mind) is good customer service. i don't need my ass kissed. i just need the correct food/drink or a standard greeting when i enter the store. anything outside of that is a bonus. 

asians, in general, quite enjoy sharing entrees at dinner. 6 people will order 5 entrees and a salad and go to town. i don't like that shit. i like my own salad. my own chicken. my own vodka. i'll gladly share an app or give you a few bites off of my plate, but keep your fucking fork off of my plate, schuette! :)

so, one of our first times going to dinner as a rehearsal cast was quite an adventure. we went to pizza hut. (pizza hut is really nice around here.) there were 6 of us in our party, but we only got 3 menus. we didn't get it. they were used to having one or two people order for the entire table. we ordered individually. they didn't get it. my side caesar was across the table. someone else's stuffed crust pepperoni pizza was in the middle of the table. it was all wrong. i guess they don't believe in position numbers or asking who got what dish.  on top of that, we couldn't find anyone to get us refills, and please don't use that one napkin too quickly. it's like pulling teeth for extra napkins. however, when it's time for that check, that waiter is glued to the table like stink on shit on white rice on a paper plate in a snow storm!! the entire bill will be in mandarin except for the bottom where it says "10% service charge", and they stand there and watch you count every last cent. it makes me so uncomfortable/angry. 

so do child harnesses.

Monday, October 13, 2008

purging my sins


i accidentally restored my ipod to factory settings last night. i feel like an asshole. i mean, i really want in ipod touch, and i fully plan on buying one very soon. however, i didn't want to get rid of all of the music on my current ipod. luckily, i have a LOT of music with me.  however, some jewels (like the first three audra cd's, the magic show, patti labelle and the bluebelles, mi reflejo, sweet honey in the rock, all bootlegs shoshana, bday, dreamgirls movie, dreamgirls in concert, in the heights and solange -both stuck on my now defunct dell, and almost all of my nina simone.) i got from others/itunes on another computer. purging is never a bad thing, it's just uncomfortable at first. afterwards, you adjust, reassess, and ask your friends to import their cd's onto your computer.

gregory littley (cue: google alert) i will have pictures for you this week. scout's honor.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

t minus 24 days.

thanks, matt martin. 

 "people" seem to think it's time to start thinking of a halloween costume. i know it's going to be a big deal around these parts. everyone's told me "halloween is a big deal around these parts". i can only gather that halloween is, indeed, a big deal around these parts. ugh. my halloween track record is inconsistent. my freshman year of college, i went to my first singing hoosier halloween party dressed as my dear friend, chris klink. it was hilarious. i wore all black, put a sock in my crotch, and did my best fosse moves. i thought it was a hit. oh yeah, i also got real wasted. (topher's flaming dr. peppers, anyone?) however, on the actual day, i did laundry, wrote a paper, and ordered pizza express, i'm sure. since i've lived in new york, the most memorable halloween is meeting up with kel, jack, and angela at posh. i didn't have a costume, but i wore sunglasses (?!). i don't "do the parade" or anything below 14th street. i usually work on halloween. even if i'm not scheduled, i pick that shit up.

i digress.

in any case, i'm catching heat from some people in my cast about dressing up. i'm not motivated. i'll go out. i'll go to a halloween party, sure. i'll wear an orange polo, no problem. a costume makes me anxious. i feel like a great costume will cause me to sweat, just like everything else.   

only time will tell if i actually cave in. 

Sunday, October 5, 2008

the end of an era

after 5 bedbug outbreaks over less than a year, 1890 7th avenue #5c is done. no mas. we're all moving out. it's really sad actually. i'm going to miss that place so much. it was my first squat/sublet when i moved to the city, and it has become my permanent home over the past year. it has also housed about 20+ all-star subletters. unfortunately, i'll be really homeless when i get back to the states. what can you do?

in unrelated news, things in far cathay are going well. i completed my first week of shows, and everything went smoothly. i'm all settled in, but my apartment looks a little sparse. i need to do a little rearranging, but i think it will be fine. i still don't have internet in my room. i don't mind sitting in the lobby to use the free wi-fi, but my favorite spot on the couch is directly downwind of the seafood hotpot restaurant, and you can catch the vapors of some "interesting" smells. today is my second day off, so i'm thinking about doing some exploring and picture taking.  happy monday to all. 

Sunday, September 28, 2008

i just want to be normal.

disney university (yes, disney university) teaches us to watch ourselves when we go out. it's teachings insist that we make sure we're portraying a "positive public image" because there are hong kong-ians who are anti-disney. (how could you be anti-disney?!) apparently, when the park first opened in 2005, media would go to the lai kwai fong area (where there are lots of bars and clubs frequented by disney employees) to try to capture these "negative images" (read: singers, dancers, and face characters getting shit-rocked retarded until the sun comes up) and use them against disney. 

me: you mean, like paparazzi?

can you just imagine my black ass on the page six of hong kong?!

"i wish they'd leave me alone. i just want to be normal."

Saturday, September 27, 2008

peaches yancey.

"here she is boys. here she is world." here's peaches.

peaches yancey is the name of my brand new macbook. i bought it today, and i'm so excited to rejoin the living world. i know that i'd originially mentioned that i wanted the black macbook, but it's far more expensive. you get a lot of bells and whistles, but i just couldn't afford it right now.

in any case, i'm black in action. i'm importing cd's (danity kane - welcome to the dollhouse), listening to music (amy winehouse - october song), and dreading the packing i need to do tonight. let me bring you up to speed:

we finished our rehearsal process, and we got approved to start doing shows. i did the final show friday night, and i begin a regular grid (disney for "schedule") tomorrow. we also move to our permanent housing tomorrow. we'll be living in a sweet place called harbor plaza. they're basically extended-stay suites. they're attached to a mall-like building that has a grocery store, drug store, bowling alley, and cinema. the only draw-back is that they're 30 minutes away from the park, which is even further away from the city. it's all good, though.

there hasn't been too much excitement to report. wes lackey is getting married today, a wedding i'd love to be able to attend. i've got some visitors slated for 2009. pat will be here sometime in january, and jim and david will be here in feb. hilarity will ensue, no doubt.

be on the lookout for more frequent posts, more photos, and even more jermainia.

Friday, September 19, 2008


the dell is out of commission. the computer itself is fine, but my actual charger is the busted part. i ran around all week long looking for a universal charger, but the one i found wasn't compatible with my old-ass laptop. (shakes a raised fist.) hmm. payday can't get here quick enough.

anyhow, all is well in hk. we've been running the show all week long, and now we've approached a weekend off. rehearsals went pretty well this past week. next week we add costumes, make up, etc. basically dress rehearsals for a few days, then i'm sure we'll start doing shows by this time next week. i'm excited for the weekend, though. i plan on chilling poolside, exploring hong kong, and going out. (i also need to do laundry...ugh.)

last night, we went to a restaurant called 'zaks'. it's on sunnyside bay, overlooking the water. i learned that a ton of westerners live there. there's a huge plaza and great restaurants. zaks is american/western fare, but last night was a hawaiian buffet. (what?!) yes. beef curry, pork ribs, greek salad, and some other delicious goodies all for $125 HK (about 30 bucks, roughly.) i ate my money's worth, trust. you know, i love an all-you-can-eat situation...especially when ribs and watermelon are involved.

*sigh* i need to give eddie his computer back. have a great weekend.

Friday, September 12, 2008

a day off

this week has gone by quickly. it's crazy to think that this time last week, i was (hungover) on a plane to china. today i'm here, chillin on a day off. it's been a very productive week. we started off the week with paperwork, id cards, and measurements. tuesday, we started staging the show and learning vocals. when we weren't in rehearsal, we were watching the show. the rest of the week followed that same pattern. we're about halfway blocked at this point. we're off until monday, so i'm taking the weekend to do a little homework so i can be my personal fiercest for monday morning. i feel good about the progress i made this last week. i've also been rifling through photos today, and i'd like to post a few photo albums this weekend. my computer won't read my camera for some reason, so i have to put the photos on someone else's computer, then copy them onto my own computer. annoying? slightly. however, this will all be resolved once i get my new computer.

the asians take very fondly to the american performers in the shows in this part of the world. josh has amazing fans at universal studios japan, and there are many regular fans here at hkdl. HOWEVER, there's one girl who is crazed/obsessed with many of the cast members here at FOLK. (festival of the lion king). like, she'll appear out of nowhere and hand you a picture cd of shots she's taken throughout different performances. she always sits in the same seat, knows every word, etc. we got our first dose of her the other night. after rehearsal, we decided to head into the city for dinner and to get cell phones. literally, all of the chorus dancers from my show and "golden mickeys" (they're not housed by HKDL, fyi.) take the train from the park into various parts of hong kong. she was waiting there at the train stop, which isn't so bad, but i was told that she's been known to follow cast members...where'er. like, she followed us 25 minutes and 3 train transfers but tried to hide. she's not slick. two of my castmates are grown-ass women who are not having all. i laugh at it all.

however, i don't laugh at ashy skin. (i do, just not my own.) turns out, i packed everything EXCEPT my f'ing lotion!! day 2, i was talking to some of the vocalists (read: blacks) about "skin care options". one of my castmates lent me some lotion, but it just wasn't doing the trick like my vasoline intensive rescue moisture locking lotion in white bottle with the blue top. yesterday, someone hands me a plastic bag and said "it's from brittany" (one of the current nalas who's injured.) i open the bag, and it was a big bottle of vasoline intensive rescue moisture locking lotion in a white bottle with the blue top. i was happy. can't wait to shower today after the gym and maybe a dip in the integrated pool here at the hotel. i love a day off.

Monday, September 8, 2008

i made it.

I’m in hong kong. The flight, surprisingly, wasn’t too bad. After nursing my hangover with bad airport food, I boarded the plane, had more bad food, took painkillers purely for sport, and passed out for a little nap. I woke up seeking entertainment. I used the restroom then took a lap around the plane to see what the others were doing. Many were sleeping. The ones who weren’t were watching their little televisions. News (blah), celine from vegas (eh), sex and the city movie (wha?!) the name of the program escapes me, but you can choose your in-flight entertainment from tv shows (grey’s, curb your enthusiasm, satc) e! entertainment (top 10 mama dramas, true Hollywood story, KIMORA), and new/old movies (goonies, satc, sarah marshall). I opted for a very pg-13 version of the satc movie, then made a playlist of musical selections for my pre-nap pleasure. Next thing you know, it was time for a last in-flight snack before we had to prepare for landing at HKG!!! I said goodbye to my seat mates, two late 20-something girls who’d just come from a wedding in Indianapolis (!). they’re nightlife promoters here in HK. Check their website:

After going through immigration, I got my luggage, exchanged some monies, and went to meet my HKDL contact, who’s name we learn is “Gigi”. Gigi is an adorable Chinese girl who went from dancing in various shows in the park to working for the entertainment office. She took me and another dancer (named “fish”?!) to the hotel. Apparently, there’s a housing overflow, and the new cast members of “Festival…” are all staying at the Hollywood Hotel. We get to the hotel, go through a few admin things, run into a few of my castmates*, then I head to my room. My room is very nice. Two full sized beds, flat screen tv, etc etc. I’m pleased that I’m forced to live here until September 28th.

*My castmates:
Eddie – CCM grad, has worked for Disney in CA, cast as Simba
Angela - from California. I believe she’s worked for USJ in years past, cast as Nala
Otha – originally from NYC, lives in LA. Cast as Storyteller
Phillip – lives in LA, did ships for Landau, just finished a contract as an a cappella singer with a few of my dancer friends from the Constellation. Cast as Scar
Stephanie – from Florida. Got here late due to ridiculous plane delays. Seems very no-nonsense. Cast as Storyteller.

(the roles are at least double cast. I thought we’d be doing all four shows daily. No sir, 2 shows a day. WORK!)

Today, we did a lot of running around. We got official Disney ID’s, HK id’s, opened bank accounts, got cell phones, got remeasured for costumes, and saw the show! It’s a great show, and I’m very excited to start working on it tomorrow. My track looks fun, and I get to siiiing! Should be a blast. Stay tuned…

Monday, September 1, 2008

i've got my eggs

saturday night was a riot. i worked a blood pasta saturday at becco, had a few drinks, then met up with a wasted mario to share a cab to harlem. we met in front of renaissance diner, and ran into mitzi michaels, nick adams, and anthony adams. they'd just come from a runway show, and nick was generous enough to donate his baby phat stationary to my cause. (one step closer to meeting kimora.) we'd been joking about how renaissance diner is a super exclusive place and you can only gain entry by showing your "egg" to the guy at the front door.

-so, let me preface this by saying that there are some really prizeful people roaming the streets of new york at any given time. however, the freaks really do come out at night. -

this young lady in a (big) little black dress comes pouring out of the cab with her two busted friends. i'm sure they'd taken a train into the city at 7pm and started drinking at 630. she looked like she'd lived a little that night and it was time to eat. fair enough, i get it. mitzi asks the girl if she had her egg (we all snicker). the girl rubs her midsection, and is like, "yeah, i got eggs."

we. fall. out.

she walks over the anthony, and she's like, "you're italian enough."

i think she would've taken a ride on the adams train over a western omelette. (it'd sure beat that 2:15 LIRR back to levittstown or schenactedy or wherever these folks come from.)

i digress.

i've been knowing about the hong kong gig all summer long. now it's labor day, the last day of summer/5 days until i fly around the world. c-razy! i feel like i have a lot to do, but it mainly involves me buying luggage and being social. i think i can handle it.

today's agenda:

  • sweep room (check)
  • shower
  • shave (?)
  • charge camera (check)
  • get money from work
  • go to marcus' bbq
  • get drunk at aforementioned bbq
  • go to splash to watch the musicals.

i've got my work cut out for me.

i think being passive-aggressive is the worst. i'm not telling you what to do, but you if i were you, i'd check out the website.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

i speak six languages.

i've been in constant email contact with hong kong disneyland all summer long. most of the emails have been gramatically correct. the most recent email was a little bit on the cryptic side. once i recieved my work visa, i emailed my contact at hkdl to see if anyone else was coming from nyc. here was her response:

Dear Jermaine,

There’s no performer fly out from New York as you do.
I am arranging the flight ticket for you at this moment and your departure date is 6 Sep 2008 probably. The itinerary will send to you soon.


not so horrible but still really funny. i leave next saturday at 255pm.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

"no lazy smurfs in my camp!!"

one of my favorite choregraphers/reality stars/crazies is black in action!!


she's been the bad boy resident choreographer for the last few seasons of "making the band", and during making the band 4, diddy and laurie ann got into a notorious argument, ending the laurie ann/diddy/bad boy relationship. we thought.

this past week's episode was completely centered around laurie ann returning to choreograph the guys group, day 26, for their upcoming tour, but the boys were afraid that she'd leave and not finish the job.

it was so obvious that she was coming back. first of all, i saw her at ripley-grier this past winter before a rehearsal with day 26, with an entourage and camera crew. second of all, she's the star. she's so ridiculous. she's ratings in a blue leotard and a sensible hair weave.

i love her.

Monday, August 18, 2008

well, i got it!!

jane?! jane?!! it's official. i'm going to china!!! i just recieved confirmation that my visa has been approved. i'm leaving on a jet plane in three weeks!!

now i just need to:

-lock in a subletter

-buy some luggage (i don't think my puma bag will hold 6.5 months of clothing/toiletries/various sundries, let alone the small asian i'm bring back to the states with me.)

-clean my room

-have a sick going away party

i have two weeks left at work, which is both exciting and strange. i'm going to miss my becco family, but those clowns will have to put up with me for at least another 85-90 hours, so no tears yet.


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

you can take them girls out tha ghetto...

so, it's been reported by numerous sources that nikki blonsky (hairspray: the movie, choreographed by my favorite d-bag, adam schenkman) and bianca golden (antm cycle: salesha) and their families went heads up over seats in the airport lounge in the turks-cairos airport.

okay, let's break this down.

first of all, what are the odds that they're all on this flight?
second of all, nikki's douchebag father is out on a reduced bail. i guess inflicting "grievous bodily harm" is more socially accepted in the caribbean islands, which would explain his bail going from 50k to 3k. bitchassness.
third of all, i wouldn't want to fuck with either one of these girls, let alone their (obviously) crazy families. i mean, let's call a spade a spade. they're all normal girls who got a break. you can take a girl out of her after-school job at coldstone, throw her in a high-budget movie musical starring queen latifah and zefron (work and work), unglue her weave, give her a fresh fade, then help her realize her ridiculous high-fashion appeal, but you absolutely can NOT take away her innate survival tactics. (read: you fuck with me, i'll fuck you up. so will my family. down.)

apparently, if you do fuck with me, you'll walk away in handcuffs, a neck brace, and/or airlifted back to the united states.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

a case of the mondays.

ugh. my weekend is officially over. saturday is my monday, which i think is really weird.

bernie mac was died this morning, due to complications from pnuemonia. he was one of my favorite comedians. i love, love, love "the bernie mac show". i think he's so brilliant, and his clean comedy is just as funny as the adult stuff. (ocean's eleven, anyone?) he'll be sorely missed.

the "so you think you can dance" finale was soooo good. there were so many hits from start to finish.

dvr alert:

wednesday, 8/13 - making the band 4, season 3. the bands go on tour. (i'm still waiting on a laurie ann sighting. the bad boy machine can't go on without her.)

please download "wake up call" by hayden panettiere. just do it.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

brooke hogan's dad

i've always been a hulk hogan fan. even back in the wwf days, i thought he was so badass.

...until brooke got this fucking reality show. as sure as i'm sitting here, he's rolling over to their apartment with his ridiculous friend (who's wearing a tshirt that reads "nasty knobs".) why is hulk showering at brooke's? why is he walking into glen's room wearing a hand towel with red tighty-whities underneath?

i need an adult.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

i love new york.

she's baaaack! one of my favorite reality tv starlets is black in action. tiffany pollard, aka, NEW YORK is back, you guys. her new show, New York Goes To Hollywood, premieres tomorrow, august 4th at 10pm. (don't worry, the dvr is already set.) i will put down my haterade because i have to give credit where credit is due. tiffany has parlayed her search for love into a permanent fixture in VH-1's lineup. i mean, she's celebreality gold!! let's count the ways:

-flavor of love season 1 finalist. (read: loser)
-flavor of love season 2 consultant/finalist. (read: loser...again. she came back looking so snatched and made no bones about telling the truth. she let those girls have it at that photo shoot. my girl, boots, was NOT living for her.)

then here's the gotcha- gotcha:

SPINOFFS!!! i love new york season 1 was such a hit that they brought the shit back for a second season, and it was vh-1's highest rated show. why? because this whore brings the drama. because she's crazed. because she drinks goose and cran (sans ice) DOWN. because SISTER PATTERSON smoke kools like a ridiculous texas black. because tiffany has some of the best soundbites ever. ("there's something really GUTTERBUTT about nibblez.")

didn't she own a few family dollar stores in upstate ny before this all started? hmm...

it's so good.

work, bitch.

Friday, August 1, 2008

like celie, i'm here.

i took the plunge. i started a blog.

wednesday night, after an unsuccessful rainbow tour of the east village, mario and i found ourselves wasted at the new venus diner on 23rd and 8th. as we were inhaling our swiss bacon burgers, a girl at the table behind us was being questioned by her homegirl, james. he was asking her if he really wanted to have her baby, especially without a baby daddy. she said she was keeping it, then proceeded to being telling her friends' business, saying how 'tamika' has had two abs already (abs = abortions.), and bonqueesha had this many, and this antandra had already had this many and is still having a baby. i was thinking two things: why is she telling everything to everyone? and two: are abortions still this common place? im not trying to get on a political platform (at all), but that issue is just so far removed from my friends. having to take someone to "the clinic" is never an issue nor is it an appropriate topic for late night patter at the diner. (ESPECIALLY over swiss bacon burgers...the nerve of some folks.)

thinking back, i'm sure people who've sat within earshot of me and my friends at basically any meal (chilis in bloomington or at dallas bbq in times square) have heard some really fucked up/funny things.

whatever, i'm getting cheese fries.

lady gaga's performance on sytycd was pretty fierce.